How to Build a Realistic Self-Care Routine

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The Problem with Self-Care

I used to think self-care had to look like a spa day or a bubble bath with fancy candles and a $30 face mask. It felt like something reserved for influencers, not real people with full schedules, messy lives, and limited budgets.

But here’s what I’ve learned: self-care doesn’t have to be picture-perfect to be powerful. It just needs to be consistent—and personal.


Step 1: Start Small and Specific

One of the biggest reasons self-care routines fall apart? We try to do too much all at once. Instead of building an entire morning ritual overnight, pick one small thing to start with.

  • A five-minute stretch when you wake up

  • A cup of herbal tea before bed

  • Writing down one thing you’re grateful for each night

It’s about showing up for yourself in tiny ways that add up.

"Consistency beats intensity when it comes to long-term habits." – James Clear, Atomic Habits


Step 2: Know Your Needs (and Be Honest About Them)

Self-care isn't one-size-fits-all. If you're an introvert, you might need quiet time. If you're burnt out, you might need rest—not a productivity journal.

Ask yourself:

  • What drains me lately?

  • What genuinely recharges me?

  • What do I need vs. what do I feel pressured to do?

My self-care sometimes looks like cleaning my kitchen, saying no to plans, or taking a walk without my phone. It’s not glamorous—but it helps.


Step 3: Build It Into Your Routine (Not Around It)

Don’t treat self-care like a reward you get after burning out. Work it into your normal flow:

  • Light a candle while you answer emails

  • Take an extra 2 minutes in the shower to do deep breathing

  • Keep a soft blanket by your reading chair

Little things, often.

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Step 4: Stop Comparing

The most effective routine is one you actually enjoy. If you're doing it because you feel like you should—not because it feels good—it’s not self-care.

For me, that meant ditching elaborate skincare routines I didn’t enjoy and instead focusing on what made me feel refreshed and grounded. I still love a face mask here and there, but it’s no longer the core of my routine.


Real Self-Care Is Yours Alone

Self-care isn’t a checklist—it’s a relationship with yourself.

Start with one habit. Let it be imperfect. Adjust it when life shifts. And remember: the goal isn’t to impress anyone—it’s to support yourself in ways that feel good and doable.


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